I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me how
to behave around women. Many of those questions
focus on the first meeting or the first date.
I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter to a
concept that I feel is VITAL to understand if
you're wondering how to behave around a woman
you've just met.
A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES...
I've noticed a KEY difference between the way
men and women act when they meet a "potential
mate".
Women usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:
"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know
you better, and we can see where this goes."
Men usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:
"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In
fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential
girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night
stand."
In other words, women are usually casual and
laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...
But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a
POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of
tension and pressure.
And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind,
either.
I'm talking about the kind that makes men
shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel
uncomfortable because the MAN is acting
uncomfortable.
I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.
THE ANSWER...
The simple solution to this is...
DON'T DO IT.
If you start acting all freakish and nervous
when you're talking to a woman, you're probably
going to screw things up before they've even had a
chance to get started.
Treating a woman that you've just met as if she
very well could be the love of your life is
something you should NEVER do.
Instead, take a very different approach.
My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has
SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or
SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.
The MAIN reason that I do this...
SURPRISE...
IS THAT IT'S TRUE!
Duh.
The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible
"long term" with most men. In other words, if you
do get into a long-term relationship with a
particular woman, the chances are that she's going
to have things about her that you don't like.
One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to
follow is, "You're screwing up your chances with
me".
Let's say I'm walking down the street with a
girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she
and I just met the night before, I got her number,
and now we're walking from my place to tea.
On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she
trips over the doorway.
I might look at her, shake my head in an
"overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say, "This
relationship just isn't going to work".
Then, let's say fifteen minutes later, she
spills her tea on the table and herself.
I'll shake my head again and say, "What did I
tell you about this kind of behavior?".
In other words, I'm communicating the very
OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying,
"I'm so comfortable around you that I can even
make fun of you without caring what you think of
me".
Does this sound a little crazy?
Good. It should.
But trust me.
If you spend a couple of hours having regular,
normal conversation... being Cocky & Funny,
enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and
generally demonstrating that you could care less
how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to
take things further than if you act as if she
might be the love of your life and you wind up
acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs
away.
By the way, if you'd like to "fine tune" your
Cocky & Funny skills, then you should take a
minute and check this out right now:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/CockyComedy
So here it is again... one thing that most guys
who are unsuccessful with women do that screws
things up... one thing to AVOID:
DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A
POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.
Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about
her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her
that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has
qualities that are going to annoy you, then point
them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).
Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if
you do.
Another note:
Most guys don't "get" women.
And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks
and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN
how to meet women.
They don't realize that all the tricks in the
world aren't going to help them if they don't
UNDERSTAND what's "going on".
That's where my Advanced Dating Techniques
Program comes in...
The first segment of the program is entirely
focused on your "Inner Game". In other words, it's
focused on helping you "get" what's going on.
This program goes into DEPTH about all aspects
of psychology and behavior of men and women... and
teaches you from the ground up. You must get rid
of some of your bad programming before you can get
GOOD programming.
In other words, I KNOW that you need to learn
how to NOT do things like treating a woman as if
she might be your future wife... and I teach you
how to avoid these big mistakes... and there are
many.
Of course, I also teach a TON of specific
techniques. Hundreds, in fact.
You will get over 12 solid hours of digital
video and/or audio of me teaching everything from
the ground up on how to take things all the way
from beginning, to end... from the first meeting,
through the first date... all the way to the
bedroom, and beyond.
You'll learn how to overcome your limiting
beliefs about women... how to eliminate your fears
of talking to women... how to make women feel
ATTRACTION for you, even if you don't have money
or looks, etc.
In other words, it's a complete system.
You'll learn everything you need to know in
order to start meeting and dating more women
IMMEDIATELY.
All the details, and some educational preview
video clips of the program are here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
...and if you STILL haven't downloaded your
copy of my original eBook "Double Your Dating",
then you need to do that now. It's jam packed with
dozens and dozens of my personal techniques for
meeting and dating women, and it comes with THREE
great bonus booklets that aren't available
anywhere else. And right now you can download it
FREE, and try it out before you buy. Go download
it here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
Men tend to base attraction on LOOKS, and women
tend to base attraction on "chemistry" and
"sexual tension"... and other things that
involve your PERSONALITY. If you'd like to learn
the secret to creating attraction with women who
are "out of your league", then go and read THIS:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/SexualCommunication
***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***
Dear Dave,
I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have
been trying C & F routine recently and it has been
working like a charm. Your CD is incredible with
information that builds on your book. An example
of C & F happened recently. Women always make
comments of my age and how I appear much younger
than my age (i'm in my mid-thirties but appear to
be 24-25). Before reading your book and listening
to your CD, I would simply laugh or say thank you
if a woman said I looked a lot younger than my
age. Recently I was out with my friends and this
good-looking woman said the same comment. My
response was "come on, I'm not going to fall for a
line that. You women just want me for my youthful
looks". Then I continued busting on her and left
with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked by my
exchange with her and my success.
I have a question though Dave. What if a woman, in
the conversation with you, states she does not
like a certain type of guy; for example she says
she likes tall guys but one happens to be short.
Can you give be a couple of examples of turning a
perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into
Cocky and funny responses?
Thanks a million,
Disciple in Training in D.C.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First of all, I really enjoy the way you've
turned the issue of looking younger around and
framed it as a woman's pathetic attempt to pick
you up and use you.
This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all
the right things... it creates sexual tension,
humor and a challenge all at the same time.
Very nice.
But the part of your email that I really like
is the QUESTION you've asked.
You've asked:
"What if a woman, in the conversation with you,
states she does not like a certain type of guy;
for example she says she likes tall guys but one
happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of
examples of turning a perceived deficit (height,
lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funny
responses?"
Here's something that you must remember:
IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS
IMPORTANT, THEN YOU'LL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO
SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOT FEEL ATTRACTION TOWARDS
YOU.
Remember, ATTRACTION isn't a "logical" process.
It really doesn't make very much sense (until you
understand how it works, that is).
Just because a woman SAYS that she doesn't
"like" a certain "type" of guy doesn't mean that
she can't feel a POWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of
this "type."
Are you with me here?
ATTRACTION is an emotional and physical
RESPONSE.
A "type" is a PREFERENCE.
They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.
Here's a good example: Women are universally
more interested in taller men. If you ask a woman
what "type" of "height" ISN'T her type, she'll say
something like "short guys" or "guys who are
shorter than me" etc.
I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who
said "I like shorter guys." Never.
But guess what?
I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the
5'2" to 5'6" range who are UNBELIEVABLE with
women. They ALL date beautiful women who are
taller than them.
So what's going on here?
ATTRACTION is what's going on.
So, when you ask me how to use a Cocky & Funny
line to turn a "perceived deficit" around, the
FIRST thing I have to say is, "Stop thinking of it
as a deficit."
First, you need to stop caring what a woman
thinks of you ALTOGETHER.
Completely.
Totally.
100%.
If you care what she thinks of you, then you're
probably going to start acting like a total WUSS,
and you're going to screw things up INSTANTLY.
Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men who look to
them for approval.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who are strong,
independent, and not affected by the opinions of
others.
As a note, you can learn an entire SYSTEM
for overcoming these "mental limitations"... and
you can also learn how to build a rock-solid
self-image that will be INCREDIBLY attractive
to women. If this is something you need to get
handled, then go and read this:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/DeepInnerGame
So, based on this new perspective, here are a
few ways that you could handle a situation like
this one...
1) NOT CARE AT ALL
One of the things you could do is to not
address the comment at all... as if it didn't even
exist.
A mistake many people make is thinking that
they MUST take every communication that another
person takes seriously and then RESPOND to it.
Not so.
You don't have to do ANYTHING if you don't want
to.
So, if a woman says, "I like tall guys", you
can just act as if it had never been said and
continue with your conversation, getting her
email/number, or whatever.
By the way, this concept can be EXTREMELY
useful in other situations as well. For instance,
if a woman starts getting upset about something
and being overly dramatic, one great thing to do
is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there and don't
respond at all. Then, when it settles down a
little, just continue your conversation as if
nothing had happened (Oh, and stop hanging out
with dramatic, overly-emotional women too, you
dork!).
2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER
In this case, you're talking about height. One
way to deal with this is to bring it up before she
does.
As soon as you start talking say, "Well, you're
taller than me... I'm over it, are you yet?"
This says a few things. It says that you know
what's going on... it says you're confident... and
it shows that you're not afraid to deal with it.
It also addresses the issue in such a way that
you'll know where she stands on it.
If she just CAN'T get past it, she'll tell you.
3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM
Here's a place to use Cocky & Funny - You
might say, "Wow, you're kind of a freak. I think
something like 1% of women are as tall as you. It
must suck trying to find nice pants, huh? You have
to wear all those weird pants made for freaks and
stuff."
Or, if she's talking about a trait that she's
attracted to, point out the negative sides of that
trait in a Cocky & Funny way.
Maybe she says, "I like men who know how to
treat a lady special, take her nice places, and
who pay for everything to show that they're a
gentleman."
You might say, "Oh, so what you're telling me
is that you like men who basically pay for your
attention with money and gifts... how romantic."
...The one thing that you'll find at the bottom
of all the ideas that I've just presented is FIRST
OF ALL, NOT CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU.
I know that it's a paradox... you obviously
want her to like you, but you have to not care
what she thinks of you.
Well, get over it.
Women aren't attracted to men who are APPROVAL-
SEEKERS.
And if a woman throws out a comment like, "I
like tall guys", you must first learn to NOT CARE,
and not let it impact you emotionally.
Then you'll be free to redirect the
conversation and decide if she's the kind of woman
that YOU would like to go out with.
By the way, when you are interacting with a
woman, one of the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will
determine whether or not she will feel ATTRACTION
for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOW YOU COMMUNICATE
THEM.
And you are constantly communicating your
beliefs with your body language, voice tone,
words, topics, questions, and everything else you
do.
In my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program
I spend literally HOURS going into some of the
things you need to understand and do to
communicate your inner beliefs in such a way that
they lead to a woman feeling that magical emotion
called ATTRACTION for you.
This material will truly blow your mind. It
took me over 5 YEARS to really figure it all out
and then put it together and explain it... and I
absolutely guarantee that this material will make
you feel powerful and excited about meeting
women... and of course it will also give you all
the tools, techniques and specifics that you'll
need to do it as well. Go to:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
...for some great free samples and all the
details.
And if you haven't downloaded my online eBook
"Double Your Dating" yet, then you need to go and
do that RIGHT NOW. It's the base and the
foundation of everything I teach, and you can
download it RIGHT NOW and be reading it within a
few minutes. Go download it here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
And I'll talk to you again in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
***QUESTION***
David,
Got your book a few weeks ago. It's brilliant.
It's magic. It's a religion. I am impressed. At
30, I've doing better now than in college since I
LET myself get wussified over the past few years.
I can now, cold-turkey, walk up to just about any
woman I want to, and bust her friggin' balls with
a straight face and a slight smirk. Their defense
shields melt before my eyes. But, alas, I have a
question. It seems when I'm meeting women, within
an hour or so, I usually end up making out with
them or touching them all over ...while they kiss
and touch me back of course. Getting numbers isn't
enough. I want to advance the meeting from the bar
or the party straight to the bed-room without all
the email and phone call. What is the best way of
doing that? Also....after making out with this one
lady I met, after meeting her in a parking lot at
a liquor store (go figure), she emails me back a
week later saying she wants to pursue friendship
first and get to know me. It seems I am perhaps
being too agressive. How can I be agressive yet
sly about it? Any help would be great. I love
this stuff!
RC
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, my book is magic? A RELIGION?
I accept the "brilliant" compliment, and I can
even allow the "magic" concept... but let's stay
away from the religion comments... lol.
To answer your first question, about how to
skip all the emails, calling, and "dating" and go
straight to the bedroom...
Do two things:
1) Don't focus on "the bedroom." Focus on taking
things to the next step... and the next... and the
next.
2) As soon as you meet a woman, treat it like
you're going on a date together.
Let me explain.
If you meet a girl you really like, spark some
major chemistry, start kissing her, etc., you're
probably going to get some resistance if you look
at her and say "OK, let's leave your friends here
and go back to my place so I can SHAG you."
That's just a hunch.
But, if you meet her, spark the attraction,
start kissing, and then say... "Hey, come with
me", and then take her hand and lead her to
another part of the club or bar... or take her to
the dance floor... or some combination... and then
start kissing again... and then stop (two forward,
one back)... and then say, "Hey, I'm going to this
other bar, come along with me"... and then once
you're there you continue, all the way until
closing, when you say, "Hey, let's keep talking...
this is fun. Give me a ride home..." etc., etc.,
etc....
I think you can see where I'm going with this.
A woman wants to feel that things are
developing naturally, not that you are just trying
to get her into bed as fast as you can.
If the evening unfolds in a normal, natural
way, and you can progress from one level to the
next, you'll do very well and go very far.
Why do you lead her to another part of the
club, and then take her somewhere else?
Physically leading a woman is VERY powerful,
and leaving together/showing up somewhere else
together changes things. When you arrive at the
new place, even though you're the same two people
who just met, you're now TOGETHER at the new
place.
And when you suggest continuing to talk, and
her giving you a ride home (or some variation),
it's not like saying "Come shag me." You're making
it clear that you want to spend time with her, and
it leaves the possibility of ANYTHING happening
open.
And as for the girl you met in the parking lot
who emailed you a week later saying "Let's pursue
a friendship first", what she was probably REALLY
saying is:
"I can't believe that I made out with you after
meeting you in a parking lot of a liquor store.
I'm not like that. So let's get together sometime
on a more casual basis, and if you DO EXACTLY WHAT
YOU DID WHEN WE FIRST MET I'LL PROBABLY WIND UP
MAKING OUT WITH YOU AGAIN."
Think about it.
***QUESTION***
Dave, I just recently read your e-book so I am
still working on techniques but I can say I am a
30 something, short, spare tire, receding hair
line guy (I think girls would say I'm cute though)
who, until a few weeks ago (when I read your
book), was still falling into the `just friends'
category way too many times. Since then, I've cut
off 3 `friends' and started working on myself,
i.e. joined a gym, cleaned up my apartment, and am
working on my wardrobe. 2 weekends ago, I was
making out with a cute 22 yr. old, with a catwalk
model body in my apartment using the 2 step
forward, 1 back technique (my roommate came in or
it may have gone further). It was actually pretty
easy because I didn't really care one way or the
other if it happened. My problem is I have
another girl that I don't think I've crossed into
the `friend' realm just yet, but I can't seem to
advance to the next level. We run with the same
set of friends and I took her out for her birthday
once so we're somewhere between bridge #2 and #5.
We email and talk on the phone quite a bit and I
can keep the conversations short and reasonably
C&F (our friends tell me she thinks I'm
mysterious), but I can't get it to go anywhere
physically. I hinted at going out on a date one
time last week in an email and she responded to
everything in the email but that. My response has
been to stop answering her emails and calls, she
sent an email today that just said `where are
you?'. (she is actually calling my cell phone now
as I write this).
My question is this, do I run like hell (in which
case I hope I could get some suggestions on making
an easy break since we have the same friends), or
work on my seduction techniques with her. If the
latter, I would greatly appreciate some tips on
crossing the next bridge. M
P.S. I've read some of the other stuff out there
and yours is one of the few that shows guys how to
get the upper hand in a respectful manner. Thanks.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Try this...
Don't talk to her for a few days.
Then, call her up and say "What are you doing
RIGHT NOW?... I think you should come over and
hang out with me."
Call on a Saturday or Sunday around noon.
If she comes over, immediately LEAVE after she
arrives.
Go have a cup of tea, do some window shopping,
and DON'T cling to her, look at her too much, or
act like you are feeling attracted to her. Lean
back. Tease her a lot. Tell her how she's screwing
up her chances with you, etc.
Finally, once you get back to your place,
proceed with The Kiss Test... and you'll be fine
from there.
You need to relax. Don't run like hell, and
don't get so hung up on this one girl.
We guys always want the one we can't have...
and it's a problem. Stay on track improving
yourself, meeting other women, etc. That's the
way.
***QUESTION***
One question, how would you change your self-
image?
>>>MY COMMENTS:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
and then
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/DeepInnerGame
...a short question deserves a short, direct
answer.
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
You are the man!! I'll try to make this short and
sweet. I work at club/bar here in FL so i meet
plenty of beautiful women. I have to tell you that
the cocky and funny routine works wonders for me.
I have been doing it for years but never knew
exactly what i was doing right until i read your
newsletter. My situation goes like this: after
work the bartenders and a couple managers always
stay after for drinks. We usually just share
stories about drunk customers or talk about how
the night was. Since i work the front door at this
club, i always have a story or two about girls
willing do just about anything to get in there or
girls wanting to take me home after. Now there is
this bartender that i work with that i like and
been pouring extra c&f her way, and she eats it
up. We went out to breakfast after work this past
saturday, and one thing that bothered me was that
when we were talking over breakfast, she said
"before this, i thought you were a player and a
little bit of a whore." I was in a bit of shock
but reacted nicely by saying "of course YOU would
think that, and that is exactly why i dont date
bartenders, you guys are too judgmental" she hit
me in the arm, but had the biggest smile on her
face. When i took her back to her car, we ended up
kissing for a bit. This is all great and
everything, but my question to you is, am I being
too cocky and funny here or was she just testing
me with that comment she made??? G, in sunny
Florida
>>>MY COMMENTS:
AHHHH!
You're doing EXACTLY the right thing.
Don't doubt yourself.
The fact that she hit you, and had the big
smile tells the whole story.
You (and many other guys) must get over the
idea that just because a woman knows you date a
lot of other women doesn't mean that she won't
like you.
This doesn't make a lot of sense, but women are
often MOST attracted to PLAYERS.
It makes you MORE attractive when you have a
lot of women that want you... not less.
You're fine. Keep it up!
***QUESTION***
I thought these letters of success were
promotional B.S. But.....
A few months ago I was introduced to this really
hot lady and I said all the "nice to meet you"
stuff to and she seemed to be annoyed at my
existence. Well I crawled away in disgrace and was
told she had no interest in me. Read some of your
stuff and ran into her a few weeks later and
started talking your language to her. I mentioned
to her that I might have taken an interest if she
exercised once and a while and picked up some
fashion tips. Well, that worked especially well
because she is a health and beauty pro to boot. I
kept it up and no kidding, SHE asked me out!
And by the way, I kept it up on our date and she
couldn't leave me alone, Amazing.
R.D. in CA.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Oh, ye of little faith.
You thought these newsletters full of success
stories were just "promotional B.S."?
Well, they're promotional, that's the damn
truth.
But they're not B.S.
Every letter I print in these newsletters is
real... every single one of them... from day one.
And probably 99% of them are unedited as well
(sometimes a letter is just too long, or unclear,
or the writer doesn't speak English well, so I'll
edit for clarity, but this is very rare).
By the way, I realize that the things I teach
sound a little bit bizarre. Believe me, it took me
a couple of years of hard work just to figure this
stuff out... and a lot of it doesn't exactly make
"logical" sense.
But, all you have to do is start using it to
see that it works. Good job... you're doing the
right thing!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Just a quick story. Once again you were right on
with advice!! I changed my online profile with a
popular dating service and have gotten four emails
after the new profile was up only 1 hour!! What
did I change? I made it short and funny. Here is
the typical response I got: "Your profile really
made me laugh. You have a great sense of humor.
That's refreshing. I have a hard time finding
guys who are truly funny. There's not shortage of
guys who THINK they're funny, but it's nice to see
some of you are still out there. I'm attaching my
profile. I'm 37, never married (yeah I know..
means there must be something wrong) and like to
laugh and have a good time. If you don't respond,
I'll just have to go back to collecting cats and
being the neighborhood spinster. ha ha. I hope to
hear from you." As you would say Dave, "Love it"!
You are the man!!! E. Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
Yes, this stuff works online just as well as in
person... sometimes even better.
You might remember the one newsletter several
months ago where the guy took some of the stuff
from my Advanced Series and copied it word-for-
word to create an online personal ad, and then
wound up getting all kinds of emails from women
saying "Come over to my house and have sex with
me... you're turning me on." LOL...
When you're Cocky & Funny online, it really
triggers a FUN, witty, sassy part of women... and
they love it.
By the way, if you're reading this right now
and you want results like this online, go and
read THIS right now:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/MeetingWomenOnline
***QUESTION***
David,
Even though you claim not to be an
expert when it comes to relationships, I'd
appreciate if you would give me some input on my
little situation. I've been seeing this girl for
for about a month now but I don't seem to be able
to get to the next level. There is no question
that she likes me since she keeps calling and
suggesting to do things together. However, she
insists on bringing up that she's gotten hurt in
the past which apparently makes it hard for her to
trust guys. According to me that is pretty damn
dumb; we've all been hurt, haven't we. GET OVER
IT! Anyway, my question to you is, how do I earn
her trust? Are there any shortcuts? Help me out
here palsky... J, PA,
>>>MY COMMENTS:
My guess: You're probably acting like a WUSSY
with her, and she doesn't feel any ATTRACTION for
you.
She's probably hanging in there, hoping that
SOME kind of feelings will develop for you... but
it's not working.
Look, when a woman says:
"I only like you as a friend"
...or...
"I've been hurt, so I want to take this slow"
...or...
"I like you so much, I don't want to lose you
as a friend"
...or any of the million variations of these
things, it USUALLY means that you're not doing the
things it takes to create ATTRACTION.
She doesn't FEEL IT for you.
And if she doesn't FEEL IT, then there ARE NO
shortcuts, my man.
Stop being such a "nice" guy, and start doing
the things you're learning from me to spark some
CHEMISTRY!
Oh, and don't call me "palsky."
And no, "palmeister" isn't any better.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
Just wanted you to know how your DVD program
changed my life. I'm 45, 5'8" and weigh 179 lbs.
I met this beautiful 29 yr. old 6'2" 9.5 model.
It's amazing how just using your "let's be
friends, if nothing else" technique worked like a
charm on this very beautiful girl. After I invited
her to see me at a local Starbucks Cafe I
immediately started busting on her over her
height. We were sitting down drinking some coffee
when I grabbed her had gently and told her to
kneel down on the floor so I could have eye
contact and tell her something important. She
went along my C&F attitude. Then I told her "who
know, you might make a good friend but please get
off up the floor and stop proposing to me". "Your
making me feel really uncomfortable in front of
all these people and besides that I'm not an easy
catch". That did it from there, it just blew her
mind out. She just started laughing and couldn't
stop. We been dating ever since. I left a lot of
details out because this story would be too long.
Your cost for your DVD program is like a dime in a
bucket, when you realize that you get so much more
in return.
Thanks Dave, J.C.
Puerto Rico
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, well, if you've now attracted a 6'2"
model, then maybe you should send me more money.
I'm open to the idea.
Seriously, great job. You really get it.
It's so amazing when you take something like a
woman's natural height (which she usually gets
compliments on) and turn it around on her... and
use it to tease her.
If you're talking to a supermodel and you say
"You know, just because you're beautiful and are
used to being treated like a sex object doesn't
mean that you can treat ME like one"... it's
magic. (Not quite a religion, but it is magic.)
It's great to hear that the material is working
in Puerto Rico. You have some major hot babes
there (and if J Lo is any indication, they've got
some serious BACK down there as well).
Nice!
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave,
I would not like to sound like the other 1 million
(+,- 100,000) of your followers but your stuff
really is excellent. I got your eBook few months
ago and keep reading newsletters. What I have
realized, for me the problem is not that I don't
know what to do, but I rather can't do it. Some
serious self-esteem issues which don't let me to
get the maximum out of c&f. I know exactly what I
need to do - practise!!!! but I just can't get my
nerv up. I do keep improving but slowly. Can't
just walk to any girl I like and ask for the info.
Not right now. It's simple only when I'm drunk and
clubbing. Then I really don't care what happens,
just have fun and surprisingly the girls are very
friendly. Of course only when I haven't got too
drunk:)
Anyway I've got a question. Sometimes I set up a
date online with a girl I just started to talk and
propose to meet in 2 hours. Well, this has
happened and turned out pretty well. Then we get
to some pub. And what I really don't like is to
buy her a drink. Its ok to buy tea her but I
wouldn't like to have tea lets say friday or
saturday night at 9. I can afford buying her tea
but not drinks. I mean I'm a poor-ass student.
It's kind of wierd to order drinks and take care
of the bill and then tell her e.g. "everybody pays
for his/hers drink", "you owe me 3.75." I do this
all the time with my friends. But feel wierd to do
it with a girl. Afterall it was me who invited
her, I ordered the booz. Any c&f solutions to
solve the situation?
A, from Estonia where women are gorgeous, there
are lots of them and the only sheep is the
president
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, no comments on the political humor... but I
like the way you think.
After I'm finished checking out the 6'2" models
in Puerto Rico, I'll have to stop by your neck of
the woods...
I have a few brainstorms for you... to help you
avoid buying drinks at the pub:
1) Keep your Friday and Saturday nights free. Go
out with your friends on those nights, and just
avoid dates. I have many friends that follow this
rule, and it works very well for them.
2) Make a lot of friends at the pubs, bars, etc.
that are in your area. Invite the bar tenders,
doormen, etc. to parties that you hear about...
bring them gifts... and just generally figure out
how to get in their good graces. In other words,
become the guy that NEVER pays for drinks in the
first place, because they're GIVEN to you.
3) Lead. Don't do things you don't want to do.
Only go to places YOU want to go to. Women will
respect you and what you want if you just lead.
***QUESTION***
Hi David!
It's incredible, your stuff works universally,
worldwide. Yes, it does. I stumbled across your
website when I was searching the internet some
months ago. First off, there is nothing like this
available in German. I thought it would be a good
idea to deal with your material since I study
American English among other subjects. Learning
two things at the same time ;-). Hell, I was such
a shy, desperate, depressed 'wussy' (didn't find
that word in 3 dictionaries). I really needed to
get this thing handled... Last night I went to a
dance club with one of my best friends who is very
good with women. I was having a great time and all
of a sudden, there was a girl who asked me if I
would go frequently to this club. She said she
would have noticed me if I had been there before.
That's when the game started. I was saying and
doing things I NEVER would have said or done
before. I was making fun of her and teasing all
night. I made up a story that I was a Swiss guy
who evaluates the girls and the premises for a
snobbish swiss scene-magazine. It was obvious that
I was making fun but later she said she almost
believed me. We had a lot of fun when we were
describing how our dreamgirl/dreamboy would be
like. I teased her about her 'exorbitant
expectations' and guessed her age about 38 (she's
22). After some close dancing, she said she needed
to sit down for a while because her feet were
aching. I said I don't massage sweaty feet and she
would need to find somebody else for that job. She
called me a jerk and pinched me more than once ;).
Then she kissed me. The kissing and touching
became hotter and hotter during the night. She
seemed to know everybody in the club. All the time
there were people coming giving comments and
grinning. She made me acquaint with a VERY
beautiful waitress at the bar who is her best
friend. I asked her to write down her email-
address and she said I was the first guy ever who
asked her about her email and not her phone-number
;-). She gave me her two numbers and her email of
course. More than that, she was actually BEGGING
ME to call her!! At 5 they began to shut the club,
she pulled me in a corner and I heard people
saying 'they bite each other'. Then, she invited
me to her apartment, added that the waitress from
the bar would sleep there as well and asked me if
I would mind. And she said she was so tired she
could only play the passive part... It was CRYSTAL
CLEAR what she wanted from me. I said I would call
her and after ten more minutes she eventually let
me go.
And here comes my big problem. It sounds
unbelievable but I'm, ahem... I am still a virgin.
Yes, it's true. You wouldn't believe it if you see
me. I'm 21 years old and pretty good looking, I
have to say. I did and do a lot of sports and I
think nobody in my environment would assume that
I'm a virgin. I don't know how this could happen.
Well, I did a little research in some German
internet newsgroups and forums. It seems that for
most women, this condition is not very pleasant,
to put it mildly. It's a big turn-off. They must
think you're a bloody loser and something can't be
right with you if you haven't managed to do it at
that age. And that's unlikely that you can give
pleasure if you are that inexperienced. It means
more work with you than fun. In the best case,
they judge it neutrally. And to come back to the
first part of the message, I don't know what to do
when we come together the next time. Tell her, not
tell her? I believe she wouldn't believe me or
think I'm dishonest if I tell her right off. At
least she would notice at some point... I don't
know what to do. Have you an answer? Please
include this in your next newsletter. Help is
greatly appreciated. D from Germany
>>>MY COMMENTS:
First, you're doing GREAT. Nice job.
You probably read the newsletter that I sent
out a while back... where I addressed this.
To summarize:
Don't worry about it.
The FEELINGS that you're giving her will FAR
MORE than make up for any lack of experience on
your part.
If you're with her, making out, and you stop to
say "You know, I don't have any experience in this
area" you're probably just going to kill the vibe.
Don't worry about it!
Just keep going... you're going to be fine.
By the way, I love your "I'm a Swiss guy who
evaluates the girls and the premises for a
snobbish swiss scene-magazine" line. Brilliant.
Also, love the guessing that she was 38 when
she was obviously in her early 20s. Great stuff.
***SUCCESS STORY***
What's up dave? I've emailed ya before so I won't
get into the "How Great Thou Art" speech..lol Got
your CD series, and of course it's Da Bomb! I just
wanna share a success story. Well right now I have
3 "project" women, so to speak. They all say they
"want" me, in more ways than one..hehe thanks to
your teachings I have the confidence to get any
woman I want, I can be choosey. I love it, it's
like a cool Jedi Mind Trick. Anyways on the the
story, I was talkin to a girl I'm considering
meeting (met her on the internet, she contacted me
first cause of my C+F personality). She brought up
the topic of goin out and she said, "so when are
you taking me out?", and I said (your gonna love
this), "I think the real question is when are you
taking ME out?". She said "I could do that". Then
I go on to bustin on her about how she better not
take me to McDonalds and the dollar theater, cause
you hafta wine and dine me a little..lol Later on
into the convo she said sometime about how the
conversation was making her so hot and bothered.
So I go on busting on her about tryin to have
phone sex with me and that I'm not that easy..
wow, she was lovin it. She begged me to come over
and well.. finish her.. hehe. Of course I turned
her down and told her, we would pick up where she
left off sometime later in the week.. cause you
gotta give them the gift of missing you. Your
stuff rocks!!! I have more women who want me than
I have time for. I play in 3 bands so my time is
limited and gives me an excuse to not call or not
be available all the time. BUY DAVE'S CD/DVD AUDIO
SERIES, IT ROCKS!!!!
-jedi in training in ohio
>>>MY COMMENTS:
You know, I love the shameless marketing you're
doing for me here.... nice.
By the way, you mentioned something here that
is just great... when a woman brings up sex on the
telephone, it's GREAT to make fun of her and tell
her to stop trying to have phone sex with you. It
says all the right things.
And turning it around when a woman says "So
when are you taking me out"... and asking her in
return is also a wonderful comeback.
Thanks again for the comments... when a guy who
plays in 3 bands says that my stuff ROCKS, it must
be true.
***SUCCESS STORY***
dave,
Great stuff... after slipping a bit in my late
20's with the ladies, your e-book and cd's have
helped me recapture what had made me successful -
c+f... even though I didn't know what it was
called or the science behind it, my past success
was always based on this attitude, as I am
naturally funny. Quick success from the other
night: I am with a few friends at a hot place
on the sunset strip and we see two hotties. One
is a 9, the other an 8.5. I see they are getting
their dinner check and tell the waitress to give
them a message - "You've been checking us out all
night (not true, incidentally) and you should
probably buy us a round before you leave." They
look totally confused when they get the message.
The waitress returns and says the hotties think we
should pick up their dinner tab. So, I pull out a
business card and write "If you think we're the
type of guys who go for gold-digging, you're sadly
mistaken. I think you owe us an apology and a
round of drinks." Well they get this, nearly keel
over laughing, and within minutes were seated at
our table. I never let up, busting her balls the
whole time before announcing in the middle of the
laugh fest that I needed to leave. They were
shocked and asked me to stay. I declined, saying
that I wasn't going to put out on the "first date"
and their begging was making me uncomfortable. I
left, digits from the 9 in hand. This stuff
works and I recommend it to everyone one of my guy
friends.
thanks, c in hollywood
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is one of my FAVORITES!
One of the best Cocky & Funny themes is
"reverse gender stereotypes."
If a woman says, "Give me your number" and you
say, "Look, I'm not that easy... don't think that
just because I give you my number that I'm going
to go out with you or sleep with you"...
Or if you're talking to a woman at a bar, and
the conversation is going well, you say "OK, let's
just cut to the chase... are you going to offer to
buy me a drink or what?"...
Attractive women INSTANTLY connect with the
humor because you're turning around situations
that they have happen ALL THE TIME... and making
something funny out of them.
Of course, you're also adding a Cocky
element... the element of "You want me, it's
obvious."
Incidentally, if you'd like to get a TON of
great Cocky & Funny themes and lines for specific
situations, then you really should check out my
"Cocky Comedy" DVD program. There are many
different "roles" you can play with women that
REALLY spike up the ATTRACTION... and I'll teach
you all about them in this program. You can go
check it out here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/CockyComedy
I'm glad you mentioned that the Advanced CDs
have helped you recapture what made you successful
in the past.
I think a lot of guys have had times in their
lives when they were successful with women... but
for whatever reason they have lost their old
"mojo." Maybe it was a marriage that went bad...
maybe a girlfriend that eventually turned them
into a Wuss Bag... whatever.
I get a lot of emails from guys who USED to be
good with women, but have been out of practice for
so long that they might as well be starting over.
If you fit in this category, or you're just
getting started and you want to get off on the
right foot, then I recommend you check out my
eBook "Double Your Dating", and then my Advanced
Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
No kidding, this stuff has taken me several
years to learn, test, refine, and explain clearly.
If you want the best material available for
meeting and dating women, this is it.
The Advanced CD/DVD program includes over 12
full hours of digitally recorded and edited
footage of me teaching LIVE.
Go watch some great video clips of the program
here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
My downloadable online eBook comes with three
free bonus booklets, and it's the foundation for
everything I teach in these newsletters. Get it
here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
Women test men.
That's the reality of the situation.
Women test men RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING, and
they keep on testing FOREVER.
If you don't know how to deal with the tests
that women throw at you, you have VERY LITTLE
chance of improving your success in the dating
world.
HOW DO WOMEN TEST MEN?
For most guys, the concept of a woman "testing"
them seems a little strange.
Why would a woman WANT to test a man?
What could she possibly gain from it?
The answer: A LOT.
By testing a man, a woman can learn THE MOST
IMPORTANT thing about him...
And I'll share what that is a little bit later
on in this newsletter.
TEST: A DEFINITION
So I was thinking about this particular topic
today, and I realized that I've never looked up
the definition of the word "test."
When I did, here's what I found:
1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of
determining the presence, quality, or truth of
something; a trial; a test of one's eyesight;
subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an
athlete's endurance.
2. A series of questions, problems, or physical
responses designed to determine knowledge,
intelligence, or ability.
3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of
democratic government is how Congress and the
president work together" (Haynes Johnson).
OK, so take a moment and read those again.
The purpose of a test is to figure something
out. It's a way of getting "true" information
about something.
So back to my earlier question... Why do women
test men in the first place?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO.
If you walk up to a man and say "Hey, how much
money do you make?" he can LIE.
If you ask him if he is good in bed, he can
LIE.
If you ask him if he's strong enough to deal
with the challenges of life, support a family, and
reach his goals, he can LIE.
Are you with me here?
In other words, if you get to the end of one of
your college courses, the teacher COULD just ask
you if you have a comprehensive understanding of
the material you learned during the course.
But you could LIE.
So the teacher gives you a TEST to see if you
REALLY know what's going on.
Well, in the same way that teachers test
students, women test MEN.
And that means YOU, Sparky.
But there's one LITTLE TEENSY WEENSY difference
between the kinds of tests that women give you and
the kinds of tests that teachers give you...
Women don't tell you first... that they're
going to test you!
And they don't teach you what you need to know
BEFORE they test you.
They just do it.
Right when they meet you.
Within the first few seconds, actually.
Why?
Because women don't have the TIME to deal with
all the guys who are interested in them.
And they're not interested in getting together
with a man who doesn't "get it" in the first
place.
Beautiful women aren't looking for a guy to
TRAIN.
And the tests don't stop... by the way.
If you meet an attractive, interesting,
emotionally healthy woman, you can expect to be
tested until either:
1) The relationship ends.
2) You or she DIES.
WHAT WOMEN ARE TESTING FOR
Now, women will test men for ALL KINDS of
things.
Some women will test to see if you have money.
Some will test to see if you'll SPEND your
money on them.
Some will test to see if you're intelligent.
And some will test to see if you're loyal.
But BY FAR, in my experience, more women will
test you initially to see if you're a WUSSY!
That's right...
The VERY FIRST thing a woman wants to "know"
about you is whether or not you're a submissive,
ass-kissing boy who has no balls.
And if you ARE, then you might as well throw in
the towel.
If you are a Wussy, and you fail the "Wussy
Tests" that she throws at you, then you stand very
little chance of succeeding with the woman who is
testing you.
Of course, MOST men fail with MOST women...
MOST of the time.
As a side note:
There is one exception to this rule.
If you act like a Wussy, but you're willing to
pursue a woman for a few YEARS, and deal with the
idea that you have about a 1 in 100 chance, then
you MIGHT be able to convince her to marry you.
But like I said, the chances are VERY slim, and
the effort required just isn't worth it.
There is a FAR better way...
THESE TESTS ARE VERY SUBTLE
Probably the most interesting thing about tests
from women is that they're not OBVIOUS.
At least, not to most men.
In fact, I'd say that 99% of all the tests that
women use on men FLY BELOW RADAR.
They're right out in the open, obvious to other
women (and a few men), but for the most part, they
go COMPLETELY UNDETECTED.
For instance, let's say that you're standing at
a bar talking to some friends, and you make eye
contact with the cute girl standing six feet away
from you.
What do most guys do?
They look away.
And they do it FAST.
Of course, most guys will LOOK AGAIN within a
few seconds.
But it's already too late.
TEST FAILED.
Here's another...
Let's say you're at a bar talking to a girl,
and she says "Hey, buy me a drink."
You say "Great, what do you want?"
Guess what?
She just told you what to do, and you went for
it without a second thought.
Or maybe you've started a conversation with a
group of girls at a coffee shop.
One of them says that she doesn't like your
shoes.
You say "Oh, well I wasn't planning on seeing
anyone important today... I just put on whatever I
could find."
In other words, you MAKE AN EXCUSE for
yourself.
As you can probably guess, that's a BAD IDEA.
In that moment, you have just failed the test
with flying colors.
THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU
If you think back in your life about all of the
situations with women that went BAD, you'll
probably find that you were TESTED, and you
FAILED.
In one way or another, you probably missed some
VITAL clue that you were being tested, and you
wound up failing.
RESULT: She hit the road.
It's happened to all of us.
If I had a dollar for every time...
LOL...
I've been through this one so many times in my
life that it HURTS.
I should probably get the jackass award for
most tests failed with women.
And before I give you some tips on handling
tests from women, I want to say AGAIN: If you find
yourself failing tests from women on a CONSISTENT
basis, then you should get yourself some "in-
depth" reprogramming on a DEEP level. The best way
to do that is HERE:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan
HOW TO DEAL WITH TESTS
If you're going to successfully deal with tests
from women, you first need to "get it."
To say it differently, you need to learn how to
RECOGNIZE tests quickly... and know when they're
happening.
What's the best way to know when you're being
tested?
Well, one way that I KNOW I'm being tested is
my GUT.
Your gut doesn't lie.
In fact, if us guys would just learn to use
this amazing "test detector" called our GUTS, then
we'd live happier lives.
Here's how it works...
Next time you're interacting with a woman and
she does or says something that makes your gut
tense up, you're probably being tested.
Now, I can't go into all the aspects of how to
deal with tests from women... because that would
take me several hours.
But I will say that the most IMPORTANT thing to
do is EXPECT tests... and then pay close attention
to how you're responding to them.
Most of the things we do with women are NOT
CONSCIOUS. When a woman looks at you, and you look
away, it wasn't a "conscious decision."
It just HAPPENS.
All of a sudden, you're feeling butterflies and
glancing away. It happens in an instant.
So you first need to recognize when it's
happening to you.
When a woman tells you what to do, she's
testing you.
When a woman tries to change plans or cancel at
the last minute, she's testing you.
When a woman asks you to buy her something,
she's testing you.
When a woman nags, whines, or complains, she's
testing you.
Learn to SPOT IT when it's happening.
Next, notice how you respond.
You've failed a million tests with women
already, so don't worry about ten more.
Just notice how you respond.
Most men respond by trying to win the woman's
approval.
If she tries to cancel plans at the last
minute, you'll say "Oh, no problem."
If she complains about something, you'll say
"I'm sorry, let me fix it."
You know what I'm saying.
Again, just notice what's going on when you
respond.
Finally, learn how to PAUSE before you respond,
and then UNDERSTAND how you need to respond to
each test.
Most tests will be tests to see if you'll allow
her to CONTROL YOU.
If you DO allow a woman to CONTROL you, you
will lose.
And you can take that one to the bank.
You will lose in one way or another, almost
guaranteed.
Women don't want men that they can control.
So make sure you pass those tests first.
The more you pay close attention, the more
you'll see the subtle tests that women are using
with you.
And the more of these tests you pass, the more
success you'll have.
YOU MUST GO BEYOND THE TEST
Now I'm going to share with you a secret that's
even MORE IMPORTANT than the idea of tests from
women...
If you REALLY want to have success with women,
you need to learn how to deal with tests even
BEFORE THEY HAPPEN.
Think of it this way...
In some colleges you can demonstrate a level of
mastery in an area that allows you to SKIP A
LEVEL.
In other words, you get credit for taking
classes, even though you've never taken them.
Well, the same goes with women.
There are certain things you can do that will
INSTANTLY communicate to a woman that you "get
it"... and don't require the INITIAL TESTS.
Don't get me wrong, women will always test
you... no matter what you do.
But you can SKIP TEN LEVELS of the initial
testing, and accelerate the process of "getting
together" with a woman DRAMATICALLY if you know
the right things to do.
And by FAR, the most important of these things
is to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you.
Sure, you can show her that you're a great
leader, or self-confident, or that you won't kiss
up to her before she tests you for it.
But this doesn't actually ACCOMPLISH anything.
It just gets you fewer tests.
If you REALLY want to skip ahead ten levels,
then you need to TRIGGER ATTRACTION inside of her.
As you probably know by now, Attraction Isn't A
Choice.
Women don't go through a logical process to
decide if they're going to feel ATTRACTION.
It just HAPPENS.
But it doesn't happen very OFTEN.
If you're one of those rare men who knows how
to use your body language, voice tone, and other
communication to make women feel ATTRACTION, then
you will have the kind of success that most men
only dream of.
And you'll deal with far fewer tests from
women.
In the last several years that I've been
studying this area of life called "Success With
Women", I've focused on the idea of making women
feel ATTRACTION.
It's something that no one talks about.
It's something that no one understands.
As a matter of fact, I'd say that not one in a
hundred men understands how to make a woman
actually FEEL ATTRACTION.
But I'll tell you something else...
Learning this particular skill has made ALL THE
DIFFERENCE in my life.
Now that I understand how to make women feel
that powerful physical and emotional response
known as ATTRACTION, I have the kind of success
and choice that most men only dream about.
The good news: any guy can learn this stuff.
I've spent a long time figuring out what makes
women feel attracted to some special men... and
then testing out what works in the real world.
I've spent hundreds and hundreds of hours
watching guys who are REALLY good with women...
and distilling the specific techniques that they
use.
I've also spent a tremendous amount of time
putting together systems that any guy can use to
improve his success with women.
I certainly wish this stuff would have been
available when I started out. It would have saved
me YEARS of frustration.
If you're just getting started, then I highly
recommend that you go download my online ebook
"Double Your Dating." It's a great introduction to
my main concepts, and it contains dozens and
dozens of great ideas for meeting women. You can
download it now, and be reading it in just a few
minutes. Download it here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
If you're ready for SUPER success with women,
then you need to step up to my Advanced Dating
Techniques CD/DVD program. It contains over 18
full hours of digital audio or video, and it will
take your game to an entirely different level.
Literally HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of my personal
secrets for success with women... all taught by me
personally. You can watch and listen as I explain
everything in detail... and listen as my guests
reveal things that you won't see or find anywhere
else. The details are here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
And finally, if you'd like to have a unique
perspective that has helped me personally, you
need to check out my Interview Series. Every month
I interview a different guy who is VERY successful
with women... and you get to listen in as I GRILL
HIM... and get him to reveal his secrets. I'll
send you two double-length bonus interviews just
for TRYING this program. That's how confident I am
that you'll love it. All the details are here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/InterviewSeries
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION:
David, you have helped me a lot so far, and I feel
like I am somewhat of a different person now
compared to before by reading your dating tips
etc. I met a girl not too long ago, she is a
couple hours away from me, and I put to work a lot
of what you had said since talking to her online,
and during my meeting with her, and it all went
very well. We spent two awesome nights together,
and I gave her a ride up to the city on my way
home, and the whole time she was playing with my
hair and holding my hand. I was sad to say bye,
and I tried keeping my composure saying bye to her
and since when we have talked on the net, and I
have tried "leaning back" more...it is hard. I
even have been trying to talk to and meet other
women (I might have another fun day tomorrow lol)
but all the same, I like this one in particular,
and I am unsure of how to bring up and try and
head towards a relationship with her (at least
talking with her about it) without starting to
look like a wuss. I know from experience that
once the wuss factor kicks in I can kiss any
chance goodbye and will just be a LJBF for the
girl. Do I just try playing it cool and hope she
comes to me, and just try going with other girls
in the meantime, or do I approach her...and if I
do what do I say? I know she does have some
feelings for me, I kind of brought it up (minor
wuss episode). I want to on one hand be able to
know how to deal with women before getting
involved seriously with one, but if I met one I
want already, then I would be happy with that. I
think I would enjoy a long term relationship.
What should I do man? Thanks for everything,
you're the best.
JR
>>>MY COMMENTS:
This is a really good question... In fact, I
think that a lot of guys really wonder "Is there
anything I should do DIFFERENTLY if I'd like this
to turn into a relationship?"
I need to mention a couple of things here
before we go into this topic:
1. I don't normally talk about "relationships".
This isn't because I think that there's anything
wrong with them, or I have something against them.
In fact, I think that relationships are great, and
if you're fortunate enough to find an exceptional
woman (and you're the type that wants a
relationship), it can be a very fulfilling part of
life.
I've just decided to focus on the "meeting and
dating" part of the equation. There are 100 books
out there on relationships, but very few on how to
meet women in the first place (and in my
experience, most of the relationship books aren't
that great either).
So, don't take my lack of addressing
relationships as me thinking that you should avoid
them. If you want to have a relationship, go for
it.
2. The reason why I'd like to address this
question is I think many guys wonder if they
should do something DIFFERENT if they'd like to
pursue a relationship with a woman as opposed to
just dating her a few times for short-term fun.
I've also noticed a pattern: When a guy starts
to "like" a girl and feel the "I'd like to be in a
long-term relationship with this girl" feelings,
this can be a powerful emotional influence. Guys
often start acting differently WITHOUT EVEN
REALIZING IT, and then justify their new behavior
with the good reasoning of "I really like this
one."
...Soooo, I'm going to answer YOUR question by
answering the question "Should I do anything
DIFFERENT if I'd like this to turn into a
relationship?"
And hopefully in the process, you'll get a good
idea of what to do in your situation.
I have an idea... let's look at this from a few
different perspectives.
Let's think about some related questions, and
work through them to come up with an answer.
Here are a few that come to mind for me:
"If I act like I'm NOT interested in a
relationship, will that make a woman less
interested in me?"
"Are women automatically 'turned off' by guys who
aren't interested in relationships?"
"Are there clues or hints that women look for to
see whether you're interested in a 'short term' or
'long term' relationship... or a one-night stand?"
"Will a woman who thinks that you're interested in
a 'relationship' act differently towards you if
she doesn't KNOW what your intentions are?"
"Is it 'OK' to be NOT interested in a
relationship, but still want to meet and date a
woman?"
"How do women know when men ARE pursuing them for
a relationship? And how do women typically respond
to this?"
"Is there an attitude towards this whole subject
that not only works best, but is also the most
healthy?"
I'd like you to take a minute and answer these
questions the best you can, based on your own
ideas, experience, knowledge, etc.
These are great questions to ask yourself on a
regular basis, because they make you THINK about
things in a different way.
This ability to THINK ABOUT THINGS FROM
DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES will give you a much
clearer outlook when you're dealing with a
situation like this one.
Now I'll give you my general answers...
And a quick thought before I do give you my
answers: If you don't KNOW the answers to these
questions, and you don't already know how to
trigger the type of ATTRACTION inside a woman
that makes her want to be with you NO MATTER
what she wants, then you really need to go
and look at this right now:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/SexualCommunication
I personally think that women have a basic
program when it comes to men who are potential
romantic interests. It says, "If he chases me,
run. If he doesn't chase me, chase him."
Of course, this is a big generalization, and it
doesn't always hold true... but it's true enough
in most situations.
If you call a woman all the time, she'll
probably not call you. If you take a woman to
dinner 4 times in a week, she probably won't be
inviting you over for dinner at her place.
On the other hand, if you go out with a woman
and she has a GREAT time with you, then you don't
call for a couple of days, or maybe you call once
for 3 minutes to tell her that you're busy and
make plans for a few days later, SHE WILL BE
THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.
I also think that women have other little hints
that they look for to see if you're interested in
getting into a relationship.
Do you talk about having kids? Do you ask about
her family and relationships with them? Do you
answer HER questions about these things in a
serious way, as if you're being interviewed? Are
you acting stilted and nervous, as if something
huge is depending on her liking you? Do you call a
lot and get her gifts? Do you check up to see what
she's doing all the time, even though you don't
know her that well?
All of these things are hints that women use to
tell how "relationship-minded" you are with her.
If you do seem like you're into a relationship,
then a woman has a much bigger decision to make,
and will be taking all kinds of things into
consideration... little gestures will take on new
meaning.
If you're ONLY looking for a "relationship",
then this will come across in all your dealings
with women. You'll be asking different questions,
answering questions differently, and playing to
the long-term. This can create all kinds of
problems when done "too much too soon."
My personal experience is that women will act
much more "real" if you don't put any pressure on
the situation. It's when you're acting like this
is either "marriage or we're breaking up" right
from the beginning that you're ASKING FOR BIG
TROUBLE.
Another key point I've realized is that JUST
BECAUSE I AM OR AM NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP
DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M GOING TO KEEP FEELING THAT
SAME WAY A WEEK FROM NOW.
I've had times in my life when I've been single
and thinking, "I'm not into a relationship right
now", and then I met a fantastic woman who
changed my mind.
I've also had times when I wanted a
relationship, but had more fun being single, so I
didn't pursue one.
Best idea: Approach the whole topic with the
attitude of "I'm open to whatever great
opportunities present themselves."
When you're with a woman you've just met, don't
put the pressure on. Lean back. Be cool.
(ESPECIALLY if the woman is unusually attractive...
attractive women are used to men falling for them
too quickly, and this turns them off.)
If the topic comes up say, "Well, I'm single
now, and if I meet a woman I really like, then
we'll see what happens." A lot of guys don't
want to come across as being "afraid of
commitment." But don't go overboard to prove that
you're not... because you'll come across as a
Wuss-Bag if you try too hard. A woman won't run
away from you if you're not calling her 10 times a
day. In fact, she'll PROBABLY run if you DO call
her too often.
Another perspective I have is that a LOT of
relationship problems are the result of people who
don't know each other, getting involved too deeply
and too quickly. This is another great thing to
MENTION if a woman pushes you on the topic.
But, back to the particular situation at
hand...
I think you're doing EXACTLY the right thing
(except for the Wuss episode, of course).
You have a woman who lives a couple of hours
away that you've known in person for a couple of
days. You're not going to be able to spend much
time with her ANYWAY.
If I were you, and I REALLY liked her, I would
call her a couple of times a week, and see her
every week or two for a few months. Get to know
her better.
And in the meantime, if you want to see other
women, go for it. Do what feels right to you.
What you're doing now is OBVIOUSLY ATTRACTIVE
to her, so KEEP IT UP. Don't change what you're
doing because you ASSUME that she wants you to act
differently towards her to "signal" that you want
a relationship.
The relationship will evolve on its own, so let
it. You're not in middle school anymore. You don't
have to send her a note that says, "Will you go
with me?"
But, always remember, don't turn into a WUSSY
if you do get into a relationship. If you do,
you'll either find yourself being dumped or wake
up one day with a ring through your nose and a
leash around your neck... and an unhappy woman in
your life to boot.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
...and if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself, "OK, I've been reading these
newsletters for a while and it's probably time
that I learned the REAL stuff"...then come to my
website and download a copy of my book, "Double
Your Dating." Inside you'll learn many things that
you'll never read in one of these newsletters.
It's the foundation for everything I teach, and
it's all of my best thinking and techniques. Just
go to:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
And if you're ready for SUPER success with
women and dating, then the only place to go is my
Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
I've spent years and years putting together all
of the pieces of the puzzle... and organizing the
concepts, theories and step-by-step techniques for
approaching, meeting, dating, and "getting
physical" with women... all with a minimum of
"rejection" and such.
The best part?
I'll send it to you to check out at MY RISK.
You check it out. You try the ideas. You decide if
it's for you. If not, send it back. Pay nothing.
No questions, and no hassles.
I'm that sure that it will take your success
with women up dramatically.
...you can get it here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries
And I'll talk to you in a couple of days.
Your Friend,
David D.
WHY THE COCKY & FUNNY ATTITUDE IS ATTRACTIVE TO
WOMEN... AND HOW TO USE IT
I get a lot of email from guys who don't quite
get the Cocky & Funny attitude.
It just doesn't make sense to some guys that
teasing women, busting their balls, being slightly
arrogant, not kissing up to them, etc., could or
should make them feel attraction.
I can understand this because I was exactly the
same way the first few times I heard it and saw it
being used.
I kept thinking to myself, "If I do this cocky
and funny thing, I'm only going to come across as
arrogant... and that can't make women like me
more."
Well, was I wrong.
You must always remember that ATTRACTION isn't
logical. It doesn't follow the rules that it
"should" follow. ATTRACTION is a very powerful
emotion that has reasons and triggers that don't
make any sense at first glance...
I'm sure you've seen many attractive women with
guys who mistreat them, abuse them, and were
exactly the opposite of what you'd expect a woman
to accept.
Why?
ATTRACTION. In the beginning she felt
attraction, and as bad as it may sound, almost no
amount of being "bad", abusive, or jerk-ish can
convince a woman, feeling a strong attraction to a
guy, to leave.
So let me take the opportunity to talk a bit
about the Cocky & Funny attitude, why it works,
and how to use it to attract women (without having
to be an abusive jerk).
First of all, you have to remember that the
formula is Cocky PLUS Funny. Always both.
If you act too cocky, you'll only come off as
arrogant and insecure.
If you're just funny, always telling jokes, and
making people laugh, you will probably come across
as "too goofy."
But if you use BOTH together, you will create
magic. Cocky + Funny is like sparring... it's
sport... it's fun... it's challenging... it's
interesting when used with skill.
So let's get clear about what "Cocky + Funny"
is.
Here's a cocky statement:
"Her dress makes her look fat."
Here's a Cocky + Funny statement:
"If she doesn't find a dress that fits better, the
fashion police are going to send in the SWAT team
for her ass."
Get it?
Start with arrogance, then add humor.
So why does it work to attract women?
Well, the short (email-newsletter size) answer
is:
COCKY AND FUNNY ATTRACTS WOMEN BECAUSE IT QUICKLY
AND DIRECTLY SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOU.
Women are attracted to "alpha male" types - We
all know that. Women are attracted to a sense of
humor. We all know that one too.
Women AREN'T attracted to men who give away
their power, kiss up to them, smother them with
attention, act like whipped puppies, and get
nervous just being in the same room with them.
And by the way, giving away power to women is a
much more complex topic than using humor, etc. If
you have a problem giving away your power to
women, or becoming a "Wussbag" when you're around
a woman that you like, then you need to try THIS:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan
If you meet an attractive woman, and
IMMEDIATELY start giving her a hard time about
something, busting on her, and having fun, it
basically says to her:
"You are interesting enough to talk to, but
you're going to have to do a lot more than just
look good to impress me. Your beauty doesn't make
me nervous in the least, I'm perfectly calm, and
in fact, I'm so comfortable that I just noticed
something about you that I'm going to make fun
of..."
There is no faster way on earth to communicate
all the right attitudes, beliefs, self-image,
comfort, confidence, and power than to be Cocky +
Funny.
(Except maybe to put on a perfect Brad Pitt
costume.)
Once you start using this attitude, you will be
totally astounded at the results.
Here's a low-risk example:
Next time you're at the grocery store in the
checkout line paying for your groceries, say:
"So how much of this cash do you get to keep?"
(as you hand her the money)
She'll probably laugh and say: "None... I
wish."
To which you can respond with:
"Oh, I figured you were pocketing 10 or 20%...
I assumed you were rich and could support me, but
now I'm not interested... I want a rich girl."
(Turn up your nose.)
This is a great one. It's always fun to ask a
woman if she's rich or famous, then when she says
that she's not, tell her that it messed up her
chances with you, and that you're not interested
anymore.
One of the keys to the Cocky + Funny attitude
is to never "crack." If she opens her mouth and
gives you the "I can't believe you just said that"
look, you need to turn it up a notch...
Most guys will crack and say "Oh, I was just
kidding."
DON'T DO THAT! It makes you look like a wussy.
In the example above, if the checker looks at
you and gives you the open mouthed "I can't
believe you said that" look and says, "Hey! I may
not be rich, but I'm nice!", you just look at her
and say "Nice isn't good enough, I need RICH AND
nice."
Your goal is not to upset a woman, but to get
under her skin enough by teasing, busting on her,
and acting cocky and funny so that it ignites the
magical challenge/attraction mechanism.
And once you can see that you're getting a good
response from a woman, GET HER NUMBER. Or get her
email. Don't stand around like a dork trying to
make her laugh.
As you become better and better with these
tools, you can then begin "extending" the
conversation... increasing the attraction... and
taking things to the "next level."
So get out there and use it, because the magic
formula of Cocky + Funny will create all kinds of
good things for you. You'll see.
And if you're reading this right now and
thinking to yourself "I really need to learn how
to master this Cocky & Funny thing", then I
AGREE!
In fact, learning how to be Cocky & Funny is
one of the FASTEST, EASIEST, and MOST FUN ways you
can make women feel ATTRACTION for you.
If you'd like to get a "fast track" education
on Cocky & Funny, then I HIGHLY recommend that you
check out my Cocky Comedy DVD/CD program.
This program features me and several amazing
guest speakers teaching you STEP-BY-STEP how to
master the technique... along with DOZENS and
DOZENS of specific Cocky & Funny "lines" and
"comebacks" for every situation you can imagine.
Go watch some of the preview video clips, and
see for yourself how valuable this program is:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/CockyComedy
Another skill you need to learn is how to use
your BODY LANGUAGE to trigger and increase
ATTRACTION with women. As you've probably heard, I
recently released an entire DVD program on this
exact topic.
Just like my Cocky Comedy program, this is a
cutting-edge education that isn't available
ANYWHERE else... at ANY price.
Using tools like Cocky Comedy and Body Language
to attract women has MANY advantages. You don't
have to buy women gifts, you don't have to chase
after them... and you don't have to take them out
to dinner hoping that they'll "magically" feel it
for you because they appreciate the food so much.
Just like my Cocky Comedy program, I've put up
a set of preview video clips for you to watch...
and I think you need to go check them out right
now. They're here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/BodyLanguage
Oh, and if you haven't taken the time to
download my online eBook "Double Your Dating",
then you need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can
download it and be reading it within a few
minutes. Go and download it here:
http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook
I'll talk to you again soon,
Your Friend,
David D.
